Hello folks, thank you for joining us on today’s edition of Waakaabouts of Penocrat with our irreverent smart mouth, Penocrat. It is the first for the year and we hope to be more regular with the column this year than we were last year. Today Penocrat rants about an issue that has become a trend on social media of late, how people meet on social media, hangout with one another to varying outcomes and then come to social media to say malicious things about one another. you will enjoy it as usual.
This 2017 ehn! It sha went with the collective IQ of some people. I swear. We will be here, you people will plan to jigijag. You won’t tell us o. You chat each other up for a while, charging the atmosphere with dirty sexual talks. Una no still tell us. You guys plan a meet TOGETHER. We still no know. You do the do. Enjoy una self finish,then come to disturb us with eleventh hour news. Is that not wickedness? Imagine! You didn’t tell us when this whole thing was going on o. So why do you think we need the fucking information after you people have kpanshed?
Did we kpansh with you? What exactly is your aim in this life? Seriously I don taya! We get the fact that sex is like a feat to you. A conquest. An achievement. A trophy. A yardstick of measuring the essence of your entire existence. A scale of measuring your worth in this life. A milestone. We Gerrit!
So after releasing, you become so uncomfortable until you’re able to fucking brag about getting fucked. Ode. Listen ” if a tree falls in the woods,and no one hears it, did it still fall? Yes it did. The tree fell! That fact remains.”
You’ve had sex. Sweet sex. Without inviting us. Whether we know or not, the fact still remains that you’ve gbenshed. So shut your trash compactor and stop disturbing us with your sexcapades! Stop telling us! We all have enough going on in our lives! We give zero fucks. If you didn’t invite us when you’re making the plans, please don’t tell us when you’ve executed the plans. Don’t let the devil use you.
And this is not just about guys alone. Some ladies are guilty of this. Many ladies! Yes! You heard me right. Ladies fucking kiss and tell. I know them. All of them. They go from inbox to inbox, opening their sepulchres of a mouth to say rubbish. Even inside this 2018, you people still refuse to have sense? O ga o!
I said I wasn’t gonna say anything about this matter, but my village people decided to send one stupid girl my way this evening. She came inbox to tell me that a friend of mine on this platform has been making sexual advances at her, and she’s amazed. For her mind!
So he wants to fuck you Ehen? How does that change the price of tea in China? Why can’t you end the whole thing by telling him off if you don’t want? Why must you tell the whole world about it? Wait. Aunty why are you even telling me? What do you want me to do? Come and join you people to knack? Azzin threesome? Turn my bra to sunglasses?
Abi make I turn my pant to head warmer? What is wrong with you people? Can’t you keep your big ass mouth shut about your personal liasons?
News Flash: Incase you are mad. Lemme remind you. We all have our own share of toasters. We all have our inbox problems too. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING SPECIAL!
Your Pussy is not gold.
Your Dick is not American visa.
Shut your trap! This irritating behavior should stop!
If you kiss and tell, know this today:
I despise you.
You lack class and self worth.
You surpass all levels of assholeness.
You don’t respect yourself.
You’re insecure. Wicked. Immature! Douche!
You’re suffering from verbal diarrhea.
Thunder will fire you in this 2018.
Ordinary sex o. Sex that oyibo people are using to do souvenir for another. That’s what you people want to start using to give us headache in 2018. Old men and women ! Ordinary sex with facebook celebrity and Co. Shioor!
Me that have been shagging Dwayne Johnson and CR7 at the back of his girlfriend have I made any noise about it? Mtcheew! Please you people should stop inviting us to coman shout hallelujah ontop your praise the lord. It is not fair.
If you’re fucking, fuck and fucking move on. Let’s see road. So long as you were not coerced or raped, WE DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK! Move on already beaches! Who kiss and tell epp? Does it add extra money in our pockets? Fuck you!