On 2015, and A New Year Resolution


Welcome 2015*Taps mic* testing 1-2 testing 1-2. Hello friends, neighbours, Nigerians and readers of this fine blog.* Clears throat loudly* I want to first of all start by wishing everyone a happy new year. for those of you who read “us” in 2014, y’all are the MVPs, and for you haters, who refused to read us in 2014, here’s is a piece of advice for you “Nobody vexes with the head and uses a cap to cover his butt” so stop hating and get here quick. since God says we should love everybody, I hope good things come to everyone of us this year and I do hope this fine blog becomes finer in 2015.

Given that it is not quite ten days into the New Year yet, so I guess one can still add some last minute New Year resolutions to what in my case is a short list. It is fitting that I kick off 2015 on this page with my New Year resolutions and that is probably why I have not done anything since the year begun. I am sorry for keeping you all waiting, but I guess you cannot rush genius *pops collar, sees Dad coming with corner of eye, quickly folds collar back down*. I have been thinking about my resolutions for 2015. I have thought out a few regular ones like read more books, find a soulmate *sigh* yeah I actually set that, make more friends, develop myself further emotionally, professionally, and physically, move closer to God, be more responsible towards my family etc. These are the regular ones that you put out every year. But then I got to the specific resolutions for 2015, I thought hard and long and in the end I came up with only one resolution, and it goes thusly “In 2015 I shall not be a hipster”
I should add at this point that no blogs or books were consulted in the formation of this resolution (not so in the writing of this blogpost mind you),however I do not consider myself a preserve of knowledge, so if any of these things look like anything you have thought of, that means we are of like minds. If you are a guy then we should probably do business, if you are a lady, we should also probably do business, or date, (unless you are older than I am, in that case, nothing doing, because I don’t believe in such hipsterish ideas). So here goes:

In 2015 I will not support unpopular ideas or unpopular people. Since we’re in politics season, I will not support hipster candidates or hipster manifesto ideas. If your ideas have any value it is unlikely that they will remain hipster for long. By that I don’t mean I will follow the crowd, I support Arsenal FC which has less fans than say Real Madrid or Manchester United for example, but are they an hipster club? Not by any standard (four million followers on twitter alone is a large number). And before you counter me with the “Jesus Christ had only twelve followers and Hitler had millions” forgetting that at least 8000 people were recorded to have turned out to listen to him and only a few months after his ascension his followership was swelled by a measly 3,000. Yeah very hipster indeed. If your ideas don’t have the potential to draw a crowd, I will not support you. Simple.
This year, I will not join the throng of people who will jump and down all over social media about “declining moral and societal values,’ and “how our generation is the most accursed generations ever.” And how “the sins of our generation has doomed the world.”, because Tiwa Savage wore something to one show, or that Nigerian musicians are not behaving like the children of God that they are supposed to be, or that video vixens in Nigerian music videos are dressing in a particular way. I will not engage in theatrics because of any musician or celeb for that matter. I will not support any conspiracy theories and I will not raise myself like the last bastion of morality in a corrupted world. So that I will not be cut to size, like God did to Elijah when he started forming one kind of boss in 1Kings 19: 18, because I am not a hipster.
In 2015 I shall be proud of my identity, my name, my father’s name, my city, my ethnic group my country. I shall look anybody in the eye and way with pride “I am Adebayo Adegbite Christian, Yoruba from Ibadan (just so you know, I shall laugh heartily at any Ibadan joke you drop), Nigeria. I shall resist any attempt to class me as just another cardinal point on the map. I will resist any attempt or group of attempts to make efface my individuality and join a hive mind. However I shall not entertain any prejudice to another human being or group of human beings, because no matter what lies beneath, we all breathe in oxygen or carbon dioxide and that is the most important thing. Only hipsters feel like they are one in seven billion, like they inhale Nitrogen and exhale Nitrous oxide or whatever and 2015 I shall not be a hipster.
Many words they say do not fill a basket, so I won’t bore you any further with rambling about myself. So I guess I’ll just say By the powers conferred on me by err…. well me, I hereby declare adebayoadegbite.com open for business for 2015. Let’s go there!!!!

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