Lanre continues his story today after Arsenal’s loss he gets home and has to face his wife. Read and enjoy the rest of the story.

  I let myself into the house with a spare key, the house was lit, PHCN, it seemed had finally heard our cries and groans of supplication and finally decided to give us a reprieve, either that or the landlords committee had a word with them. I looked at the clock; it was some minutes to eleven pm. That was when I discovered that I had not had anything since lunch.  I was not particularly hungry, but I knew better than to go to bed on an empty stomach. So I wearily made a way to the kitchen to see if Folake had prepared anything for me to eat. I looked into the warmer in which Folake usually put my food, there was some rice there, and a bowl beside it contained some fried plantains. I checked in the fridge, the aroma of  freshly cooked chicken stew wafted to my nostrils. I found the pot easily it was just starting to freeze over, evidence she just put it in, which in itself was evidence that she hadn’t been to bed for quite long. I served myself and sat down at the dining table to eat, but the vision of Arsenal’s FC trophy hunt going up in flames drove away my appetite. The chicken tasted like sand in my mouth. I cursed all the Arsenal players and Arsene Wenger mentally  “ why are you such a rotten, shitty damn loser, why can’t you just win once?” after two forced spoonfuls I went to bed, unable to think of anything else apart from why that slimy loser, Arsene Wenger should be thoroughly whipped and then sacked and then his butt kicked all the way to France.
    I felt familiar hands shaking me roughly awake, I groggily looked at the table clock it was past two a.m. I looked up at my assailant, it was Folake and with the look she had on her face I knew I have had it “yeah thank you, Arsenal FC, thanks to your lifeless performance my wife is now angry with me.” I tried bravado, “look Honey, it is past two am, why don’t you let me sleep and we can discuss whatever it is you have to say in the morning.” But she was having none of it. “First of all you did not call to tell me that you’re going to be home late, and then you came home and refused to touch the food I cooked for you. I want an explanation and I want it now.” Look, I didn’t just have an appetite, I had a rough day at work, and then Arsenal lost,” Folake sneered  “ Number one you didn’t tell me you had a rough day when I called you in the evening, besides when was the last time you missed a weekday dinner because Arsenal lost a game? tell me another story.”  I should have thought the excuse through before giving it. As passionate an Arsenal fan that I am, my wife knows if there is one thing I don’t play with it is my dinner especially on weekdays. So I don’t blame her for not believing the truth. I remained mute. She continued “so you won’t answer abi? I knew it, I knew it is the handiwork of that stupid Toyosi girl, she has been feeding you abi?” I did not allow her to complete the sentence before I butted in “ Folake, why are you being paranoid, who have you been talking to? Well I have not been eating Toyosi’s food or anyone else’s , now will you please stop all this nonsense and let me sleep?” But she refused to be cowed “in that case none of us will have any sleep in this house until you tell me the truth about why you came home late and left the food i cooked for you untouched.
After she said that, my first thought was to say “okay you win, I ate at Toyosi’s place will you ease of now and allow me to sleep?” but I decided against it. apart from the fact that I would be directly accusing myself of unfaithfulness which would be bad enough, I would also be lying, the lie would not get me the sleep I desired, and lying to an already paranoid wife will end being a decision I would pay dearly for, and if she ever found out the truth that I was just playing on her feelings so that if could sleep, it would definitely have more dire consequences than merely a sleepless night. Arsenal are already without a trophy this season, and that is bad enough, why would I risk being without a wife as well?

          (TO BE CONTINUED)


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